Eddie : It's over. Why can't you just let it go?
Jane : I can't.
Eddie : Why?
Jane : Because I was happy. Because if this theory is wrong, men don't leave all women, Eddie. They leave me.
Eddie : I know it hurts. I know. It's so hard to believe that something that wonderful can ever happen to us again, but it can.
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Jane : What is on your neck?
Eddie : I bit myself shaving.

Eddie : These are *people* not cows!

Jane : Of all the things you said to me that night, the thing that scared me the most was that I would find it again. Because I have.
[beat] 
Jane : Will you say something?
Eddie : No.
[walks over and kisses her] 
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Jane : Man, She really did a number on you didn't she? Well, don't shit on my broken heart just because you converted to some warped brand of romantic atheism!
Eddie : It's called self-preservation.
Jane : Oh, in other words, your narcotize yourself with casual sex.
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Jane : She's D. Diane - Diane is D.
Eddie : Yes, D is for Diane. E is for Eddie.

[last lines] 
Jane : So you're saying?
Eddie : What've we got to lose?
Jane : Everything.
Eddie : Exactly.
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Eddie : Never underestimate casual sex Jane, it can be very liberating.

Jane : Do you promise not to laugh?
Eddie : No.

Jane : You know, that's why God invented turtlenecks.
Eddie : No, that's why God invented Darlene.
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Eddie : [handing earrings to Nina]  Nina, you left these in my bathroom.
Jane : You don't waste any time, do you?
Eddie : Cynic.
Jane : Slut.
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Jane : Eddie, did you ever find a roommate?
Eddie : Well, no actually.
Ray : You're moving in with Eddie?
Jane : [to Eddie]  Because the place I was supposed to move into just suddenly fell apart and I was wondering if the offer was still good.
Ray : You're moving in with Eddie?
Jane : [to Ray]  Maybe.
[to Eddie] 
Jane : What's it like?
Eddie : 2 bedroom loft, big kitchen, lots of windows...
Jane : Sounds amazing. When can I see it?
Eddie : How about tonight?
Jane : Perfect. Everything is just perfect.
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Jane : What are you thinking?
Eddie : I'm thinking the same thing you are, Jane. You and Ray are gonna' live happily ever after with matching volvos and chocolate labs. See you Monday.
Jane : Did you have *any* friends growing up?
Eddie : You better hurry. I think he's waiting around the corner.
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[Eddie smokes a cigarette] 
Staff Member : Excuse me, this is a smoke free building.
Eddie : Blow me.
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[Eddie shows Jane his apartment] 
Jane : Do we have to share a bathroom?
Eddie : Oh no, I never ever use the bathroom.
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Eddie : You book 'em. I cook 'em.

Jane : Morning Eddie! What's that on your neck?
Eddie : I bit myself shaving.