(On why he chose to leave Saturday Night Live (1975) in 1994 after four seasons): "It was time to graduate". Show less «

You know you're successful in show business when people start suing you. Now there's another level to it. When people start saying you're dead. Show less «

"People don't ask Andre Agassi, 'You know you're the No. 1 tennis player in the world ... have you thought about polo?'" - When asked if he'd ever consider a dramatic role. Show less «

The real reason I decided on show business was to avoid a day job.

[on stand-up comedy] I'm still figuring it out. I delve into what's interesting to me. The fact that 400 people in America make more money combined than the 150 million people at the lower end of the tier is pretty outrageous. But where's the joke? People aren't going there to hear what I think about politics. They wanna laugh. I talk about my marriage, my family and stuff that people can, hopefully, relate to. Show less «