I don't really tour. I'll do three show here, three shows there. I like to not go too long not being in front of an audience. It's like the Tin Man in 'The Wizard of Oz' not being oiled. The more you don't do something, the rustier you become. If you do a show once a year, you're going to walk out there and just worry about lines. Show less «

[observation, 2013] The thing that I try to avoid is anything that is long-term - a long run of something, a long tour of something, involvement in a sitcom that requires me showing up every week. I'm 62 now. I've been doing this for forty years, and what's appealing to me is making it very eclectic. It keeps me more interested than just doing one thing. Show less «

I don't work in anxiety. I don't work in stress. If someone's a prick, I have the person removed or I leave. The end result is a little less important than the joy of doing it. The one thing you can control is the hang - who are you going to work with, and is it going to be fun. Show less «

[asked why he remains in show business] Two words, sweetie: balloon mortgage. And the need to be loved. Show less «

[on being asked what judging capabilities he brings to Canada's Got Talent (2012)] My own unique, kind of subtle brilliance, coated with modesty. Show less «

[In 2000] I truly believe that when you're funny, you're blessed. Your whole life is kind of golden. I was happy, although it was not perfect happiness. There was illness and sadness and death. Show less «

[on appearing on Bill Maher's current events program] That's a tricky show to do. If you go there and just try to be funny, then you're not doing the show correctly. But you're also competing with a former congressman, a financial specialist from CNBC. You've got to figure out what your turf is and you have to have a little bit of ion about politics and what's in the news. Show less «

[in 2000] I'm totally aware of how lucky I am. I have health, family, children. I do work that gives me total joy and allows me to make a living, and maybe, if I'm lucky enough, I'll feel I've fulfilled a little bit of service to society because I brought other people some laughter. Show less «

What's great about being a character actor is you know that you can survive forever. It's not about the gloss of your eyebrows . . One of my great influences was Don Knotts as Barney Fife." Show less «

[on his 2006 Broadway show "Martin Short: Fame Becomes Me"] This is satire. I am a satirist. Modern-day society has this obsession with needing to know every ounce of angst about performers' lives, to the point that it becomes more important than whether they can perform. Show less «

I think that we and the audience make a deal with the funny people we've known for a long time. Our deal is they make us laugh. I can sing. I've done Broadway shows. I can come on Dave Letterman's show and just sing a medley of songs. I can go as sincere as I want. But you'd always be waiting for the sandbag to fall on my head. Show less «

(on Canada's Got Talent (2012))It's the return of variety entertainment, like the Toast of the Town (1948) (aka "Ed Sullivan Show"). You never get bored. You have to appreciate what they do. But we do see the delusional - the ones who think they kill because they practised singing into the hairbrush in the bathroom. But I have no trouble dealing with attitude. I have three children and when I get that certain tone in my voice, they know it's time to listen. Show less «